She knows! She knows! A moan escaped my lips as the tension and weight of my life lifted off of me. That feeling of virility, of physical presence, and emotion bursting through my heart, I had forgotten about that. The bricks of the wall around my heart toppled down to the ground one by one. I could feel the plants around the forest tower coming to live and growing. The thorns were falling of the roses. New rose buds bundled up with energy. The assembly line of going through the motions stopped. Speeches take coffee. That's just the way it is. Winter break took tea, coffee and No Doz, because Dr. Gupta wanted me to reduce the word count by a third.I tried. God knows I tried.Over the break, I managed to cut out about twenty percent of the verbiage. The problem was that every time I found something I could cut, I found some other thing that needed elaboration. It was two steps forward and one step back, til I wanted to scream. The day after New Year, I went to Dr. Gupta's office with my. I was so relaxed, I wasn’t even worried about anyone seeing too much. I felt totally at ease, with my cell-phone in my hand, and it humming along softly. I enjoyed how it felt holding it, and the colors were really pretty to see. I was the only one standing in the light, and didn’t care a bit. I smiled, and spoke easily. “Hi! What’s up?”This brought two young men out into the open. Both of them were easily five or more years my junior. One wore jeans and a muscle shirt, only he was white and. ?He smiles and looks down, I guess blushing slightly, ?I.I love you,Missy. A lot.?I smile back at him and we each reach out a hand that clasps the otheras I say, ?I love you, too, Jason.?He sighs and says, ?You ready to go up to the room???Yes,? I smile back.We head up to our room, holding hands but once inside, before he can domuch of anything, including turning on a light other than the sort ofdim entryway light, I throw my hands over his shoulders and he almostimmediately takes me into an.
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